he's online now....but busy...

im thinking whether should i bring up the matter to him...
seriously...i find that im really irresponsible...

why did i chose to back out even though i had decided to go for it again at the beginning??

though i really want to get back those "7" .....at that point of time...im very determined to do so....but still im afraid of history repeating....it has repeated once...i dun want it to happen again....

im really tired..on the way back today...i was thinking of whether to go for it anot...after receiving tt msg...i've made up my mind....

i don't want to get tt position just because im a whatever in comp or watsoever...
i dun want tt to b the reason for me to b in....
if that is the reason why im in...i would rather that i wun join in the very 1st place...

i want to know the true reason!!.. someone tell me!!