argh!..STM acts up again!!

happy belated b'day to vinus, jiajun, cynthia and justin!!

today...afternoon like tt went to m'sia wif papa...den came home...makan...den nth much liao lo...=x

tag replies:
poot3::u are puteri?? o.o...haha...welcome!!
zh:: congrats to me?? if tts the case i shall say congrats to u for SGT!!...;)

whee~~got to know a gd news today...haha;)
today is quite success bah....
but the theory test is really a nono for me...=x
but nvm...it is all over...haha

finally one thing down....but i know still gt many to go...=.=
next up is mt oral...omg!!

btw...who is interested to go for nat. comp. this coming sunday...13/07....do give me ur names ty...

tag replies:

zh:: hold on ar...i didnt say is u say de arh....=x....lalalalala~~~ =p

there's no activity today...therefore im here updating my blog at this time....

promotion exercise tmr..in sch..and tt ben soh still thinks tt it is held at hq...=.=...sotong leh him...=x

hmm...got quite a no. of stuffs going on these 2 weeks??
tmr-promotion excercise?
next tuesday-mt o'lvl oral and someone's b'day??o.o =p
friday-activity
saturday-whole sch cip
sunday-????
monday-SL investiture?

err...i seems to have some problems wif my tagboard...but nvm...i shall reply tags here...=p

zh::err...ok?? i was shocked when i saw "i love you" over there...=x....

i know what im doing...and i know what im supposed to do
i dun think there's a need for u to tell me what i should do??? o.o

mayb i shall just keep my mouth shut....

what is exactly the whole purpose behind it??

yeah!!...thanks zhenghui for reminding me...we passed koto!!...hehe...
i really forgot liao lo..=p...
queen victoria or queen elizabeth arh??=x haha

hmm...what did i do ytd??...hmm..i didnt online...so just watch tv and do hmwk lo??=x....

sch as per normal??....den lalalalala...*im talking craps nw....so bear with me...*
came home...eat..watch tv...went to cut hair.... later shall go and do my hmwk le...
currently in love wif chocolates...i've just finished the box of chocolates..=p...

hmm...there's smth going on this saturday right??...hmm..let me think abt it...=p

ytd was the st john day sch celebration.....
luckily no cadets fall out....=)...

den....activity lo...hmm...nth much to say liao??..0.0...

den today went for adult first aid....

think now only got 3 person understand how i feel bah....hope things will be better le bah.???
btw...thanks alot...

before my STM acts up again...happy belated birthday to puteri!!...and happy birthday to shenghao!!...=)

....tmr sjab day le....nope...sjab day is 24th june...for those who are not sure?
tmr is the school celebration day....
hope they can tahan bah!!..jy ppl!!

maybe i shall just keep quiet....
no one can be trust in this world....=.=

=.=...
didnt online for the whole of ytd....=.=....
reached home...do hmwk liao...den slp....den eat...blah blah blah...

shld b thinking why m i posting at this weird timing right?? ya...i didnt go sch...sick..=.=...sian...
is a bad omen siah..=.=..

o.o...ytd and today was expedition....was indeed fun yet tired...
eh...im very lazy to say the details leh....
and my eyes are closing alrdy???
and my whole body is like cnt move le??? esp. my shoulders and legs??..=.=
just nw reached home at abt 9.30am....den went to sleep at about 10.30am++

tmr sch reopen alrdy!!...omg...=.=.....=(

tired....

=.=....

spent 3-4 hrs in front of the comp. to redo those files tt i did not save into my thumbdrives last time.... and of course do up those doc. tt are not done de..... but now...everything is done.!!..=p....

hmm....ytd went out wif east pole....talked alot wif her...=x and i also vent out alot of anger...=x...psps....haha...

eh..i duno wat to say liao...and and and...zx found out i locked my another blog wor~~ LOL...
who knows i very f _ _ _ _ _ ...............den i open up the blog leh??=x...lalalala...
just wait and see lo..=p

o.o...got a few days didnt update le alrdy??
neither did i go online...

ppl say i mia wor?? LOL...
coz my comp is spoilt for the past few days...so didnt come online lo...=x

hmm...many many things happened past few days??....but i will not post it here??hehe...
go ahead to search bah...but u will never get to see it...haha...=p

before i forget....HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY FIZZY!! US roxs....haha

i had a weird yet bad dream again?? or rather to say a nightmare....?? O.o

everything seems so weird?



the whole st john know liao?? wonder is it a gd or bad thing?? LOL??

i shall see how things goes bah...i alrdy lose hopes on it alrdy....=.\

i kept having weird weird dreams siah....=.=..
i still remembered tt i was crying and shouting while sleeping...=.= scary siah...=x...

1. Do you have wide groups of friends?
*hmm...yes? ..no?

2. If you're in trouble, will your friends 'fly' over to help you immediately?*i hope they will..

3. Will you sacrifice your most precious thing for your friends?
*it depends?

4. Do you believe in Best friends, BBFs , or that everyone's equal?
*think so?

5. Do you think that a straight & A woman can just be a platonic friends?
*???

6. Do you have a female friend that you can trust with almost everything?*hmm...yesh?

7. Do you think that friends should tell each other everything?
*hmmm....nope....

8. If your friends are in trouble, what will you do?
*depends on the situation?

9. In future, if your friends get married and ask you to be their best men/bridesmaid, will you agree?
*of course i will...

10.What if your enemy calls you one day to make peace?
*depends on what tt person had done to me?

11.What will you do to a friend whom you trust deeply, betrayed you?
*there's no way we can get back tgt again?

12. If your friend snatch away your girlfriend, will you still be a friend or hate her completely?
*it is all fate...

13. What if there is a guy that have liked for quite some time, tells you that he needs your help to win the hear of your friend, will you help him?i *i will... though it hurts..

14. How many friends does your parents know?
*hmm....10-20?? lost count?

15. Do your parents think that your friends are a bad influence?
*no?? i very guaii de...haha

16. What will you tell your parents if they asked you to transfer school, which means losing all your closest friends?
*i will say NO!

17. If your friend organise a once in a life time party, but your family doesn't allow you to go? Will you sulk/throw a temper/sneak out?
*throw a temper lo...den dun talk to them lo...

18. How will you describe your friendship relationship with your friends?depends?

19. Define friendship.
*hold on...let me check the dictionary....

20. Name 20 people whom you can think right now.
Don't read the questions until you named the 20 people.
At the end, choose 5 people to do this.
1.weihao
2.yeexuan
3.zheng hui
4.ben
5.shenghao
6.tiffany
7.zx
8.cynthia
9.cuiping
10.patricia
11.sylvia
12.angie
13.yekai
14.fizzy
15.hanis
16.thahira
17.szehui
18.daniel
19.gavin
20.jeffrey

How Did you meet no. 4?
-ben....sec 1...SJAB??

What will you do if you never meet no. 1?
-weihao? hmm..duno? i wun suffer frm STM?? haha

What if no. 9 & no. 20 dated?
-cuiping and jeffrey?....hmm...didnt think of it yet?

no.6 & no.17 date?
-tiffany and szehui? cant imagine?

Describe no. 3.
-zhenghui....lots to say...haha

Describe no.7.
-zhixian....happysumo!!...very nice gal n senior.ya..lots of things to say abt her....=)

Do you know any of no.12's family?
-angie?...nope?

What will you do if no.18 confess to you that he / she likes you ?
-daniel?? omg? i will get a big big shock...and someone will get jealous?? haha

What language does no.15 speaks?
-hanis...eng...malay..and some language i dun understand?? ahaha

Who is no.9 going out with?
-cuiping?....hmm..duno?=x

How old is no.16?
-thahira...14....going to 15...

When is the last time you spoke to no.13?
-yekai?...this afternoon? or rather one week ago??=x

Who is no.2 favourite band or singer?
-yeexuan....er....i duno...=.=

Would you ever date no.4?
-ben....er...no thanks!

Would you ever date no.1?
-weihao?...haha...can consider uh?? haha...jkjk

Is no.19 single?
-gavin..think so?? haha

Would you ever be in a relationship with no.11?
-sylvia...haha...she's alrdy my east pole..hehe

School of no.3?
-Riverside Secondary ;D

Where does no.6 live?
-sg

What is your favourite thing about no.5?
-shenghao...his cuteness?? =x..sry...mind me..im going mad soon..=x

Have you seen no.2 naked?
-NO THANKS.....

What is no.8's nickname?
-cyn...happy qiao de?? still got wat?? =x

5 person to do the survey.
1)whoever wants to do it?

1.At what age do you wish to get married?
*25-26?

2.Who is more important to you.Friends or boyfriend?
*friends bah? boyfriend...do i have one?=x

3.Who is the person you trust the most?
*me.myself and i

4.Do you think you have enough confidence?
*i doubt so...

5.If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
*to stay happy always..but i dun think it will come true?

6.Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain
*hmm...yes?

7.What is your goal for this year?
*good results?

8.Do you believe in eternity love?
*hmm...yesh?

9.Have you broken someone heart that heshe tried to commit sucide?
*i hope not? if not i will b very guilty...

10.What feeling do you love most?
*happiness

11.What are the requirements you wish from your other half?
*caring? ~~~

12.What feeling do you hate the most?
*alone.

13.Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
*yesh..

14.Do you believe in god?
*hmm..u mean religion or?

15.What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
*family...friends..n i ...anything else?

16.Who cares for you the most?
*hmm...family.friends.him?

17.Descibe the person who tagged you in 5 words
*hmm..im lousy in describing ppl....and hope tt i wun nid to stay away from him??=x


18.What have you regretted in doing your whole life
*Lots..you would nid to give me one whole day for me to list it down...

19.Why do people hate me?
*i couldnt answer this qn...as i have to ask the ppl around me?

20.What is life to you?
*hmm? im not sure?

thanks zx for posting my horoscope at NA blog..haha...
totally describes me siah...=.=

Taurus Women
A slim, moderately and tall woman. Taurus woman is funny and a jolly person. Square facial bone structure, and high cheek bone. Her round big eyes sparkle with wit and curiosity. You will not see many round faces Taurus women, and mainly she will have a strong jaw line. She is a constantly change person. If she upset, she will not show it and will keep it to herself for a long time, and will remember them so well. true!

If she gets really mad at you, you will suddenly become a totally and completely stranger to her. She is a patient person, but always need new excitement. She hates long talk meeting, long and endless conversation. She can be in love with you today, and one day she could act as if she has never loved you before.

She has patient with what she wants to do and will never give up until she gets there. She will be very persistent in what she is doing till she has reasons for stopping her project, then she will quit. Money for Taurus woman is not the most important factor in life. She thinks of money as an instrument for assuring of a good living.

She has more satisfaction in achieving her goals more than satisfaction in fine cloths and luxuries. If you like a woman who always thinks of love and romance, then you are dating the wrong girl. You can not tell her to stay at home, she likes to work and preferred not work at home. She loves animals and likes to surround by animals. Love is in her head, but freedom is in her soul. She has her own idea about love and afraid to show her true feeling for fear of rejection.

She is not the type to talk about love, but she sure has a strange way to show it. She is not good in showing when she is in love, but if she loves you she will be honest to you than any other women. She will be honest to her love one, but at the same time seems distant. You will have a good relationship with her, if you allow her freedom. Do not force her to be with you in a poker game which she hates, but let she goes out swinging with her friends if she wants to.

She will be different than other girls, and she thinks different is one of her unique quality. She is a public figure but belongs to no one. She will not stay with you, if she thinks you are not sincere. She likes you to have personality, but better not to compete with her. Loves her, but not too much, as she is afraid it will be limiting her freedom. She always stands out of the crowd for something she dares to do. You could see her dress like a poor farmer dinning in the fancy restaurant, or dress like a nun in an a cocktail dress party.

If you are a politician who is looking for a wife, she will make a good one because she is cleverly smart and she could get along socially with any type of crowds. She is not a jealous type because she has to know you thoroughly before accepting you in her life. She has more curiosity in life than wondering if right now you are flirting with someone else. If you keep a distant from her, or go away for a few days, she will miss you more.

Even when she is dating you, she also able to fond of someone else, if you do not have something that she is looking for. She will never disappoint you or hide behind your back to make you loose face, but she is the type who just going to tell you to your face that “We’re better off breaking up”. She always remembers her first love.

Taurus woman holds the best record for divorce for she does not care about how people think of her, but everything should be done for “Happiness”. She has lots of friends and sure of herself, so you will hardly see she delays any of her thoughts before her action. If she thinks of something, she will go ahead and does it.dun stop me.. She has many men wanting her for her constant changes is the challenge.

She can be cute and funny, but suddenly cool and tough. She has her own style of dressing up, so you could see her dress like an old mate today, and tomorrow she may dress like she comes from Mars. She will have that interesting hair, dress and a look unique from anyone else. She likes to learn about your dreams and thoughts. She has fun teasing you and making jokes. If she did something wrong, she won’t hide it from you, but do not ask when she is not in the mood to talk about it.dun talk to me if im having a black face...=.=

She hates to owe people money and take promise seriously. If you promise to pay her back, you’d better paid up. If you want to make it with Taurus woman, then do not be jealous or possessive, be narrow minded, criticize about nonsense or small and insignificant matters.dun come irritate me...haha Try to likes her friends and let she has her privacy, and then she can be very sweet to you.

copyright by zx....frm NA blog...haha.=x

i just love friendship dance too much!...haha

spent my time at home the whole day....
do what?? eat..watch tv....play hp..slp....and i had a rather weird dream from tt sleep.. even my mum say i sot tio...just a short nap also can have such dream...=x

woke up at 9+ today......went down to pass some stuffs to wh.... came back....watch doraemon...

haha thanks to wh tt i wake up so early...hehe...*im not being sarcastic arh..is a compliment!*...haha

yeah!...i can go shopping liao!!..hehe!

i dun want to have anything got to do wif c _ _ _ _ _ _ _ anymore...
that's it....it gonna b the last time....

ytd didnt post....coz nth happened? hang around at home the whole day....



today mah...woke up at around 12+....den watched tv.....went cwp to makan wif er jie....den went swimming...

went back to cwp to watch kungfu panda....and and and...when did my sis change name to "yeexuan"??? =x



dun forget the orchard trip yea? =x

is everything over now?? i hope so?...coz im really tired over all those stuffs anymore....i cant possibly sit down there and swallow everything anymore....

ytd was somehow emo the whole day...=.=...and i practically spent my whole of ytd sleeping...=x...

why issit that ppl can b happy after their event...but i just cant...
you say i dun trust you all...but did u all ever think that...did u allow me to do so? whatever had happened...made me chose not to do so...it made me felt insecure...
"If you remember the bad moments, then how are you going to remember those good moments?"

i just feel very annoyed wif ppl who are "double sided" or rather to say "shuang mian ren".....

im sorry to that particular person who were in a very difficult position/spot throughout the whole camp planning process....i seriously hope that person know who is he/she.....really a very big SORRY...

the camp is over....finally over...didnt manage to post ytd...coz im really very tired..
what i did ytd was to eat smth...den go to sleep alrdy....=.=

but i still want to thank the ppl who made the camp possible over the 4 days 3 nights...

firstly.. is the sec 3 committee
vice-chair:benjamin--u had really done a great job...despite the fact tt u also suffered from the fall and almost lost ur voice...thank you
programme coordinator:hanis--i know you had been a "sotong" past few days before the camp over the schedule... but luckily u are not during the 4 days 3 nights....really a very good job done....if during the camp...without you coordinating the whole thing well...erm..ya..u know what i want to say...
rest of the committee--words just cant describe wat i want to say...but no matter wat...THANK YOU

secondly....the sec 4 seniors
weihao--really a very big THANK YOU...thanks for guiding me before and during the camp...be it on the planning of programme...admin stuffs of the camp...u had been a really great help...
during the camp you really helped alot...be it on the planning of sentry night duty..though u are alrdy very tired...but u still helped us on it...
on the 2nd day...i was too tired tt i actually break down...u tried to cheer me up...and even brought dinner for me...
and u also lend a listening ear for me...when im feeling down..

patricia--also a really big THANK YOU....though u didnt say much during the camp...but i know u are helping us to make sure that the camp is in order..following the schedule..and also tried to calm me down when im crying..
thanks for being there for me during the first aid comp. and the footdrill... u are willing to listen to wat i say...and how i feel..really..i really appreciated

yeexuan--though you are really quiet during the camp..which is unlike u...=.= but i know u are still really concerned abt it....after hearing wat zhenghui,yekai and sylvia told me on the 3rd day..."i was like...O.o?? sure not?!" den during the friendship dance....ya...i duno whether to believe it anot la?? whether is coincidence..or issit they plan it de??..ya...u know wat i want to say..

sylvia,zhixian,jeffrey,angie,yekai,sarina,zhenghui,fizzy,shahidah,aisyah,
chinhee--thanks for trying to cheer up when im sad...helpin the PC/APCs to get the cadets "high"...and also thanks for the mentos!...

to all seniors--THANK YOU for helping to make the camp a success..and also in helping to take care of the cadets when they are sick when we are not free..

thirdly..the instructors
THANK YOU for helping in one way and another...thank you for taking care of the cadets when we are busy. and also helping us to buy stuffs...setting up of the bbq and campfire...and also the clearing up...thank you very much...

lastly...the officers
though there are sometimes when we are actually "scolded" by you all...but we understand that it is all for our own gd....thank you for being there for us....and also helping in taking care of the cadets welfare...

gavin sir--there are many things that i would to thank you....be it on the camp planning...or on corp stuffs...there's too many to b mentioned down here...u had really been a great help to us...especially to me....
i really felt relieved after talking to you during the 4th day...and it really helps...it really let me understand everything..

THANK YOU...

and sorry to let those ppl who are concerned abt me to be worried...
esp. the seniors,instructors,officers,ms ong and mr low..
you all kept asking me to go to slp...have a rest...make sure tt i have my meals...esp. on the 2nd day.....thank you very much....

tmr is the day...wish me gd luck ppl...hehe...jkjk

hope everything goes well..=

2 more days...or rather to say...1 day bah...

luckily i didnt go "mad" today...if not i really cnt imagine wat will happen..=.=

everything gonna happen in 2 days...

just pray hard that things will go well bah....

i dun want to care anymore...

was listening "It's Alright" before i went to sleep ytd night..

i was thinking....by just saying 'it's alright' would solve the problems??..
i doubt so...

"i'll be there for you" who's that person who is there for me?
"tell me how you feel..." who is that "me" that i can tell how i feel
"take me to another place" where is that place? =.=
"believe in yourself" i hope to....but i just cant bring myself to do it...=.=

3 more days....

pictures of the day...=x

what is this!

tsk tsk tsk....today is alrdy 25 may liao...
another 4 days jiu.................liao...
which shall b the day i would be certified DEAD....=.=

hope that everyone is doing their work well bah.....=
everybody jy!

went for koto today....
had confidence in ard 36 qns?? who knows end up i fail..=.=....

btw...on the way.....zh say he saw lesbians...=.=...really and is like er....=.\

den on the way back....got a gal gal very cute...she put her fingers into her mouth....den her mama ask her to take out...but instead she went to suck every one of her fingers..=.=....and she suck until very happy...LOL....=.=...
den later on her mama turned the pram away....she even thought that her mama dun want her liao...den start crying liao...=x....

den still got one more gal gal...she kept looking at zh?? while zh say she's looking at me instead?? den zh kip "act cute" but she kept turned away...which made zh so disappointed..=x...so sad~~

reached home...very tired..=.=...fell asleep on the floor in the living room...=.=

had a dream...duno issit a gd thing? but i dun think it would happen in real life?
was having lots of fun wif .............??
if i didnt rmb wrongly...we were playing in duno where....den we kept laughing?
but i really did enjoy the time with him la..=)
*tt person posted smth similar in feb...*

there's no point for me to continue on... it's useless..

nomb....

none of my business

went to sch....talk talk....
and cuiping was going crazy when he came down..=x... LOL...

den er jie reached......sat outside the classrm...wait wait wait...
brought down gummy for them....and they end up turning round and turning round??=p....

mdm mathews say i quiet in class?? =.=...dun think so lo...
L1R4--13
L1R5--18.....

carried bags of clothings....

carried bags of tidbits...

i know those things above totally no link..=x...but too bad...hehe

hmm...today not much things happened?
stayed back to give the sec 2s briefing...den waited till 4++ to give the seniors consent forms.....

and cuiping,hanis and thahira tricked me..=x...bleah...almost let me run for nth..=p....

then went home lo...
tmr meet the parent session....wonder what cher will say?? O.o...

tmr has lots and lots of stuffs to do~~...

is alrdy the 22nd le...hmm...7 more days to go??

eeyer...tania bully me..=x...no la...
i very guaii de ok...and my nose didnt grow long hor...=x

and i also very _ _ _ e de....no need to act de..natural de...

so i shall act _ _ _ _ _ e in the day...and act _ _ _ e in the night..!!
and it is only for tania yeah!...haha...

didnt managed to post ytd...

i know is alrdy belated liao...but i still want to say...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEFFREY! .... =p

today is just a normal sch day....abit sian..=.=..
was .......... in the class...nth could bring up my mood..=.=

tmr somehow last day of sch liao??...not happy abt it leh..=x...
aiya...suan le...

9 more days to go.......
i would rather i go crazy on the few days before.....than being mad on the actual itself...i'll go bonkers..=.=...so ppl...dun mind me..=x...jkjk

went out just nw...
got to know "stuffs"....

though it does not answer my question... but it really hurts...

i "hate" dirty work.... but no one likes it either..=.=

not i dun want to "perform"....is just tt i dun want to be accused of interfering their stuffs... and ppl wun think tt i find them _______ or watever things...
i dun care whether issit they sensitive anot....i dun care anymore... i had enough of everything...

i just hate the big big word....__________....

maybe after the event....i shall wash my hands off everything... byes..

ytd too tired le....fell asleep in the living room at around 9+pm....
den around 11.30pm went into the rm to sleep...

i had a bad dream ytd night....
i was crying when i was sleeping lo....i wake up le i still cry....
den ard 11am jiu wake up le...

watched tv till 1+pm....den went swimming wif er jie and gaston...
and i became the "powerful jiejie"...=x
was thinking about many many things la...
if troubles can just flow away off you just like water..won't it be good??
but afterall....it will still flow back to you isn't it?? haix....

came back....did nth..

haix...wonder how would it end up?? good?? failure?? i dun dare to predict or pin any hopes on it..=(.......
coz im really afraid....i dun wish to be disappointed anymore..
once bitten...forever frightened.....or rather being bitten twice?? =(...

11 more days...haix haix....

ya....back from camp le...
though i went for camp instead of activity...my heart was not at the camp lo...=.=

i shouldnt have chose to go down to take a look despite that we had only less than 10 mins break...and i was =.=..to know abt it...

btw..thanks jeffrey....sry to reply ur msg so late....

the camp was fun....but i duno how to describe??=x...chief mojo?? instructor blacky??..lol...and i wun forget the scene...where there's "dead chicken" flying around in the air...=p....and those small small balls which jiayee likes lots...hehe

really learnt many many things from the camp....they really seems to know what im thinking..=.=

maybe it may turn out to be "dirty work" to me....but it may not turn out to be the same to them..it is impossible to have everyone to understand each individuals....everyone has its own personality..

"be it you are the quiet type....or the noisy type...u are always a ________" quoted by instructor blacky..
maybe im the ______ one?...i duno...

tmr gonna be the last activity before june hols le...
heard that gavin is coming down?? i duno...
i hope things won't get worse....

woke up at 7++am to do e-learning...
den do till 10++ jiu continue to do S&D....and it took me abt 4-6 hrs to do??=x...wonder how long ben took?

went cwp to have lunch wif north pole...talked alot wif her...talked about many many things...and we waited for 3++ hrs?? =x...LOL...

things are almost done le??

the dream is really "scary" la...
i actually cried when i was reading the sms he sent me...=.\
shld i tell him?
would he blame me??

i dun understand why shld i did "that" in the first place....
and these is what i got?..

1 down....still got lots to go...=.=

there's no point figuring out who's at fault now...
it won't solve the problem...
the mark will still b there...

and ppl..if u didnt c me tmr...
the reason is not because i attitude or whatever...
is because stuffs are queuing up behind me...
it is impossible for me to leave them alone...and "enjoy" myself outside...
i may even show a "smelly" face...
so it is better not for me to show up...to prevent any other misunderstandings anymore...

and..thanks US...

thanks for cheering me up....
but i think it will only lasts for a while...
but nevertheless...thanks...dun bully me arh..

and...ni de pi shi chou dao~~~ =x

issit worth for me to do so??
or am i just wasting my time?
ppl may think tt there's no need for me to do that...even though im not going for it....

the route in front of me was so short...but i took ages to reached there...
so near yet so far
i've thought of many things on the way....
happy or sad? i duno..
it may b happy to others...but it is...???? to me...
i really cant imagine what would happen...

i tolerate till bed time ytd...as all of them were at home...i dun want them to see me sad...and still it was Mothers' Day...
"WHY?!" has always been the word i've been shouting ytd nite....
i wanted to scream out loud..but i couldn't..all of them were asleep..
the scenario was totally the same as last time...
i wanted to shout...but smth just keep holding me back...
even he cant do anything abt me...sry..

east pole...thanks for talking to me....
but it does not answer my question...
mayb no one in this world could give me the answer that i want..

i dun want it to b a failure...
i seriously dun want it to happen anymore..

thanks zhenghui....

i went to do smth just nw...
no one knew abt it...or rather only one person know it...
so what if they know abt it? does it make any difference?
they might think tt i find them useless or anything?

instead...i shld not go down at the very first place....it will b useless afterall...

he's online now....but busy...

im thinking whether should i bring up the matter to him...
seriously...i find that im really irresponsible...

why did i chose to back out even though i had decided to go for it again at the beginning??

though i really want to get back those "7" .....at that point of time...im very determined to do so....but still im afraid of history repeating....it has repeated once...i dun want it to happen again....

im really tired..on the way back today...i was thinking of whether to go for it anot...after receiving tt msg...i've made up my mind....

i don't want to get tt position just because im a whatever in comp or watsoever...
i dun want tt to b the reason for me to b in....
if that is the reason why im in...i would rather that i wun join in the very 1st place...

i want to know the true reason!!.. someone tell me!!

leave me alone....

sorry..
i had to take the step...
i know you all would hate me...
but i won't blame you...
you may scold...curse me or whatever behind my back...(or in front of me) as much as you can....

im forced to do so...
dun ask me why...there's a reason behind it..

**edited**
fyi...the step im refering to...is not the thing u are talking abt...
it is another matter.
no one knows abt it yet....and there's no point for me to tell the whole world abt it... mayb no one would care whether im still in it anot...
though ppl may think tt it is a very impt post...
but sry...i dun think so... the ppl in it might not think the same...
they might treat me as if im invisible....

what would happen if i were to say i don't want to join anymore?

things can never go back to the past anymore...
there's no way it can b resume to what it is like anymore...
no more...no more solutions...no matter what you can think of...it would never helps...so.... no use telling me all sorts of things...

so what if im recognised? be it by them or whoever?? i bet no one give it a damn...
they must be thinking "so what u got it?? are u fit to achieve that?? i can be better than you!"

me myself know that i does not have those qualities that mdm soh mentioned yesterday...but...
after yesterday...ppl must be thinking..."why they got 2?..while we only have 1?" lots of question marks in their mind....isn't it??
i bet so..

no matter what i do...it may appear that im putting a false front or whatever...i can never know what are they thinking...
as what i say...efforts are wasted...

can time just stop here?..

smile=) can no longer smile like what she does in the past

happywoman is no longer happy as what others thought

northpole and eastpole has lost its direction and does not know what to do

i maybe smiling on my face..but instead im crying in my heart...

how i wish i could dump everything aside...and dun bother it anymore!!...
though mye is ending tmr..but i dun think i'll be happy...
ppl can enjoy happily after their mye..but i doubt i can..

i just want to cry out my lungs..

there's no use for me to put in anymore efforts...
no one would appreciate...
even if i spent the night thinking of those stuffs undone instead of sleeping when there's still paper the next day....no one would care...
there's no purpose of me doing all those stuffs when no one is putting in their efforts..
what's the point?

maybe i shall go mia?? switch off my handphone?

tmr pls dun come....
coz im not happy at all...=.=

argh!..many things are going on all at the same time!...

first is mye....(but it's ending in 1 more day..^^)
den is ........ things are not really tt smooth siah..hope the schedule tt i've planned ytd nite can go on smoothly...

today is alrdy the 8th ppl!! just another 3 weeks time...
omg!..so many things undone..omg!!
i hope it wun b a disaster...commitee part is somehow 75% done?? just oni bits and pieces...=.=

the other side....omg! i really duno wat to say siah...time is really not on our side!.i really going bonkers liao arh!!..

someone help me!!

will post on friday??=x

went to make IC wif mama...
den went to makan...and we go walk walk around lo..

den went to shop find papa....or rather to ka-jiao him...hehe=x
spent almost half day there?? a little bored la...but too bad no ppl want to entertain me...=p..jkjk

den walked to uncle's hse.....sit a while...den walked back to shop again...=p....was enjoying my chocolate on the way there...hehe=p

went to aunt's hse to find ah ma....ah ma as usual very funny..."i no pocket..cnt anyhow stuff"(in chinese)....this was wat i said when ah ma trying to give me chocolate...=p...hehe

came back home..makan...do some stuffs here n there...den come and post lo..=x

lalala...i've been signing in and out several times today...=.=

im still wondering issit a gd or bad day for me today..=.=
fell down once when i was on my way to sch today tis morning..
had mt paper...i got no hopes on paper 2 alrdy..sian diao.=.=

lalala..went to room to take some stuffs jiu go home le.
slept..
wake up.
eat...
used comp...

boring right?

hope it shall be the final one=)....all the best ppl!!..jyjy!

eeee....he really forget le...=x..
nvm..

camp and expedition briefing just nw...

camp briefing was not tt successful? i duno..

talked abt........

will i regret after making this decision? i hope i wun...

nvm..let's get tt 7 back!!....NA...we can do it de...^^

mayb i shall not say it out...

thanks ppl!! thank you for all the b'day wishes...and the presents also...=)

the piglet frm jeffrey,sarina and yx??

the monkey on the right is frm zhenghui and shenghao...

on the left is frm huda..

the "shell"?? which is on the box frm hanis...

chocolate frm sylvia...and zx...

did i left out anyone?=x...if yes pls tell me..=)

thank you ppl for the wishes...and also the b'day song at the canteen in the morning...^^..and also 3/7..=)

hmm...??

just came back frm cwp....had dinner wif family as part of my b'day?? =p
went to eat at ichiban...
walked hme as we are really very full...=p.

shld i or shld i not??

the 4 sentences:
1)I'm always BETTER THAN YOU(other team)
2)I'm mustn't be weak. We must stay strong!
3)CONFIDENCE IS EVERYTHING
4)HAPPY x3 Be happy. Stay happy. Forever happy!

i will always rmb these 4 sentences...=) and u shld rmb too...
stay happy always pple...;)

two days didnt update le..=x...

ytd had mye english paper...still ok bah...still can pass???

2 more days?? i duno??

i just had a dream just nw...
but i hope tt it need not happen in real life...

time really flies...
just a blink...everything is over...
but now...awaiting us...is challenge...

believe in yourself...tt you can do it..
if u think u can do it...u CAN do it...

pls dun be emo anymore..
rmb the 4 sentences u told us last time??
happy x3 leh....=)

shld i go agn? i duno...

agm and farewell party is finally over....
gd job guys!!..;)

after promotion parade...went to do the refreshments....

as expected...i cried..not once...not twice...but thrice...=.=
i still rmb when the video was played..i cry like duno wat lo..=x...no choice...really very sad mah...=(
US also got cry...

face the truth bah...

will i cry later??
i think i will......
:'(

omg...another 10+ minutes jiu 12am le...which means 19/04/2008 liao..
which means it gonna b agm cum farewell party alrdy...

sob sob...

tmr is the day...
sad sad...=(

hope you all would enjoy tmr?...;)

haha...in the end he still gt help me take la...=p...

tmr activity...hope the sec 1s and 2s would have improved compared to last week....=) hope they wun disappoint us...

fizzy...stop reminding me tt is 2 more days...=p

and no more 11 more days...thank you...=x

i mentioned tt events are going on this week....
which are AGM and Farewell Party....hope tt it will goes well smoothly bah....=D...

the sad part is tt...once farewell party is over..which means the sec 4s and 5 seniors would b stepping down le...and focus on their studies le......O.o...sad sad....i will surely miss them...=(
really...i didnt bluff..=x

farewell party...means got games...which i afraid tt..i will get sabo by them!!?? esp. the game tt tiffany mentioned to me just nw?? O.o...omg...i better b mentally prepared before tt bah..=p

things to do:
1)hmwk??(lazy do...sleep first..)
2)sort out those slides??
3)slack?? haha...jkjk

o.o...raining again....=x

ppl kip say i very fierce when teaching the sec 1s footdrill...=.=
is tt so??

i was telling him tt i wasnt looking forward to ..................
but there he is counting down how many days to............. =.=.....

i know is random...but too bad...=x

nth much happened today?...
slept till 12.30pm den wake up...=x...

another week has ended...
another week is going to start soon...
next week gonna to have another event coming up..
which means more things to do....
jyjy everyone...

im just tired of everything...

i shall not post abt today...as there isn't much things for me to talk about...and im not really happy abt today..=.=

and i dun feel like counting down to ............. anymore...

*sneeze*

has been sneezing all day long today....flu?? i duno..=x...
had napfa 5 items after sch.....

headache arh!!..

came home wif a bad headache...during AM lesson...i was lyk...=.=...head aching siah=.=....cnt concentrate during humanities just nw...=.=

decided not to wait..so dabao lunch jiu come home lor...

eat finish le...not so pain le...actually wanted to slp de...but decided to on comp. to do my stuffs......

nw the headache is back..=.=...i think i go take a nap liao...if not ma sure ask me eat 'paracetamol tablets' de...haha...=x...

woohoo~~proposals proposals proposals......

familiar yea??...hehe...i dun mean to suan anybody de...im just stating the facts...really lots of proposals in front of me...it is really alot if i were to lay them in front of me nw...=p...jkjk...

woke up at ard 10+??...but ytd night i woke up oni once yea?...coz im soundly asleep...^^..

cuiping and shenghao going for obs tmr le...do enjoy urself and also take care yea??!!...ENJOY!...

ytd really tired siah..=.=..
did duty for mass run..den blah blah blah...until 8+ den reach hme..i even forgotten to call home..=x...but nvm..papa mama didnt scold me..=x...

ate dinner le...den bathe...den ard 11pm jiu go sleep le...
woke up abt twice ytd night if im not wrong??...becum a habit liao..=x

finally woke up at 8+...go to hq to buy ranks....den come back lo...after tt went to cut hair..=x..
the hairdresser 'straighten' my hair siah...like it lots...^^..even er jie say is nice...mayb next time i shall consider to straighten or anything??..still got a long way to go...=x...
but i'll still keep at this length bah...hehe^^

wasnt in a good mood today...
ppl kip say i emo...but i didnt...=.=...

mayb i've tt emo look? =.=

tmr got mass run...doing duty...nid wear full-u...therefore i nid to go iron clothes liao...

yeah!..i finished my 2.4km run liao!...

really nid to thank those who are there...sjab ppl....and also jinger and kaixian!!..^^

我又爱又恨今天